(Published first to my Patreon supporters.)

Recently, a good chunk of my brainstorming and working time has been on our deck. The breeze has been brisk and cool enough. I haven’t had to run back inside for relief from the heat. (I’m told that will change over the next few days… heatwave on deck for Labor Day weekend.) I did have to share my office space today. He’s not a bad office mate per se. He is a little pushy when it comes to getting what he wants (scritches on demand) but otherwise, he’s alright. 😉 I’m beyond lucky to be working in such a comfortable and luxurious space. 

My brainstorming sessions have been mulling over how I can use my skills to meet people’s needs. Art does meet a need, but not always in the direct, understandable way that, say, buying groceries does. As I brainstorm, I alternate between feeling stuck and stymied and then excited by the possibilities.

There’s a business/entrepreneur coach that I follow on Instagram named Gary Vaynerchuk. I like his no-nonsense practical thought processes. His wisdom sounds more like common sense than something enlightened and otherwise out of reach. The only catch is implementation, consistency, and patience are required.  It shouldn’t be a thing at all… except for the temptation of wanting quicker, more successful results. But, I’m taking his advice to heart. Be willing to experiment, fail, learn, and show up again. Seek what will provide value to those who cross paths with what I’m sharing, saying, and creating… and doing it consistently. It feels risky but I can see its value. 

I have an online friend who has been self-employed for the last 15+ years. She’s successful at what she does. In her office, she has a banner. It says: “Comfort is a slow death.” My instinct is to fight with that statement. But, it has a lesson it is trying to convey. The lessons I’m learning in following my calling are simultaneously lessons for day-to-day life. I see that.

Next step, feel the anxiety that is speeding up my heart as I type this. I will do it anyway. I only have this life to live, so there’s no use it waiting around for the anxiety to magically evaporate. Ha! I’ve been around long enough to know that isn’t going to happen. So, Janece, discomfort it is. This insanely blessed life that I’ve been gifted… it’s one I want to live. Here I go.

Leaning into that uneasy feeling.

2 thoughts on “Leaning into that uneasy feeling.

  • November 10, 2020 at 10:49 am

    Hey! There’s discomfort, and then there’s pandemic and a daily 45 disaster… we can only do so much in the face of this level of discomfort. It’s been downright painful!
    But now we have opened a new door! Hello, November 10th! I know I’ve been foggy, owing to a lot of things, but how foggy? The difference in my clarity and awareness, and energy to face things, read, breath even… it’s indescribable! I hope you are feeling relief, feeling stronger, feeling joy. Maybe we will ache less, and do more. Maybe we still need healing, to build trust, but my wish is that we are opening more doors, wider, and that we can enjoy our insanely blessed lives, and share the blessings, too!

  • November 11, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    I’m rereading my entry and barely remember the headspace I was in when I wrote it. I remember mostly wanting to find the way to earn a modest living doing the things that I feel called to… art and writing. But, almost immediately after that post… yes, everything you listed… pandemic, election, family challenges and personal health… they all sort of collapsed onto me all together.

    Today is the first day I feel here. I believe you are spot on about making room for healing and building trust again (in so many ways… personal, communal, and as a country). That’s not linear or quick work.

    I am feeling relief today, I do feel stronger and even more so because of you… I’m feeling joy! I love you, Natalie!!


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