living in my heart

May 23, 2008 | Category: art, personal ramblings, pics

It’s interesting how our eyes open and then awareness sets in, deeper and deeper.

The thing I can’t figure out is why some things, that our eyes have been opened to, pass and others dig a space into your heart and live there.

Before Amira arrived, Paul & I had talked in passing about choosing to adopt children rather than having our own. It was an idea but one that never really took hold. And then, of course, she arrived.

Over the past 6-8 weeks though, my eyes have been opened to adoption. It seemed like everywhere I turned, I would cross paths with another story about adoption, or family who had or were adopting, adopting information, etc.

Just a few that I’ve read, known and been impacted by:

  • After the earthquake in China, officials there estimate 4,000 quake orphans so far.
  • An extended family member on Paul’s side have been working to adopt twins from Haiti. Just before Mother’s Day, they were told that the visas for the children were denied. The father wrote an email and he said (and I paraphrase and don’t say it nearly as eloquently as he did)… “I can no more leave those two children in Haiti, or be satisfied with the term “failed adoption” than I could be if our Caitlin were trapped on other other side of international lines.“
  • I’ve been out of touch with the Christian music scene for 15+ years. When I saw the news online… I cried for Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman and their family who lost their youngest adopted daughter, Maria, earlier this week.
  • A couple of nights ago, Paul & I watched a sweet film called Children of Heaven. While it has nothing to do with adoption, and the children depicted in the film had a stable home with loving parents… it reminded me of the needs that so many children have. And a few nights before that, we saw Juno – this one involving a teenage girl’s decision to give up her baby for adoption.
  • I’ve had difficulty in recent years with my faith as a Christian. God’s grace, though, has kept me from wandering away – even though I’m confused and annoyed by it all much of the time. There are some tangible, and truly, easy directives from scripture though – that call us to action. One of those verses, that has surfaced for me from a variety of sources is James 1:27: Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
  • Antonia’s Line: a foreign Dutch film that is one of my dearest and favorite films. It’s intent is an argument for a post-patriarchal life. And while that is definitely the theme and thrust of the film, it isn’t what attracts me to it. What moves me about this film is the way Antonia brings in the outcasts, the unwanted, the damaged and hopeless into her family. The movie inspires and moves me to tears every time I see it.
  • A friend of my friend, Amy – received the amazing news today that they have approved visas to bring home two beautiful children, Kora and Zeke, that they are adopting in Sierra Leone, West Africa.
  • I am rereading a book I love called Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life. There is a little section titled ‘Everyday Experience Is Divine Revelation’. This hit me hard. Because, one of the things that my everyday experience has been revealing to me… well, I’ve just been sharing it with you. Adoption.

So I still can’t figure out why, when our eyes have been opened, some things will pass and others dig a space in your heart. This one, as you might easily guess by now, has dug a space in mine and is living there.

3 Comments

  1. Cat
    on May 23rd, 2008
    1

    It’s the most random thing, meeting people over blogs. You never know who you’re going to keep coming back to. And meanwhile, this post just struck a chord, so I feel compelled to comment again. Somewhere deep inside me I’ve always thought adoption was in my future. I even wrote on a paper that I would have adopted a child on a “where will I be in 20 years” in, like, 3rd grade. The idea of adoption has resurfaced, recently, so it’s just amazing to me that it has for you, too. I’ll be interested to hear what you do with it.

  2. amy
    on May 23rd, 2008
    2

    and you know, that it is in my heart as well. i often marvel at the places and spaces God has put in my path.. and can’t help but think, that i am here, in iowa, for this time, to be a part of the process with zeke and kora… because God knows how much i want to adopt, and He is preparing my heart. janece, you and paul are amazing people, who i am honored to call friends. if it ever IS in your future, that child would be blessed indeed!

  3. Karen
    on May 27th, 2008
    3

    As an advocate for children I would love to see you and Paul adopt. The environment you provide for Amira is a joy to behold. I, for one, would love to welcome more children into the family.

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