I’m in one of those, “I don’t know what to write” moods. I open my blog window and look at the terribly bare screen. I look as long as I can stand it and then hit the red box ‘x’ in the corner. I figure I can only do that for so long. So… to get past it, I decided to start by writing about how I don’t know what to write. Maybe, just maybe, that’ll push me on through.

I do have a picture of Amira to share with you.

We celebrated the arrival of May (a little early… but still) on Sunday evening. Amira had a wonderful time meeting new friends, wearing her “flower crown”, dancing and playing drums, eating tasty cheese and watermelon, carrying cattails and watching the beautiful bonfire stretch up to the sky after the sun fell. It’s always a treat for me to see her eyes sparkle and her face shine as she takes in new experiences. There really is something about the way you experience life new again when you are with a child. Our camera battery died or I would have had many more photos to share.

What else?

The sun is coming out for the first time this morning. The views, both on the property and out and about, are changing with the arrival of the leaves. Nature feels closer simply because views are less expansive… we are crowded in by new growth, leaves and flowers. That’s a kind of crowding I can live with.

Oh, and I found (thx Ariel) a slideshow app for Flickr sets called flickrSLidDR. Handy!

(shameless plug: if you like any of these, help me pay the light bill and check out my Etsy store.)

Okay, until the next time… leave me a comment and tell me what is making you smile today.

oil on canvas
3 8″x8″ canvases

These paintings have a bit of a surprise in them… at certain angles as you look at it- you can see a bird in each canvas. You can see more photos here. Or you click on the Etsy photos to the right and see more pictures as well.

PS - Kate, if you are still reading… these were inspired by your paintings! 

Paul and Amira spent all afternoon and into the early evening together.

Paul pulled her through the neighborhood in her bright red RadioFlyer wagon. They worked their way back to the pond. There they paddled the little white rowboat out onto the pond. Amira told me happily about how they circled the island just for fun.

With Tova and Levity, they spent time hiking around the property. And no afternoon adventure is complete without flying through the air together on a big rope swing.

These are the afternoons that I pray stick in her mind as little snapshots of love, laughter and fun when she remembers her growing up years.

We had our first BBQ dinner this evening. Paul cooked our buffalo steaks while I cooked green beans and coconut-cranberry brown rice (yum!).. While we were working on the dinner, Amira played tree-sloth. She just recently learned about the tree sloth, so she’s was having great fun imagining us all as a tree sloth family.

As we tucked Amira in bed and said our prayers… she said what a fun day she had.

And this, this was our evening, just before the sun tucked itself in for the night

Paul said it again this evening… “I can’t believe we landed here!”

Me either.

It’s a beautiful morning. The is sun shining, the ducks are quack, quack, quacking. The Canadian geese honking and birds chirping and singing. Me, on a morning like this, I’ve been thinking of Natalie.

I put our big blue tea pot on the burner and turned on the gas. I poured out a big cup of hot tea and added just the right amount of honey. I mentally made one for her too.

In my mind, I told Amira that she had new friends, three boys and a little girl like her coming over to play.  They could explore the pond, the trails and all the other adventures waiting to be had with new friends.  Her eyes sparkled and danced as she hopped excitedly in anticipation. And I sighed happily.

Isn’t interesting how you can miss someone you’ve never met?

As many of you know, I sell my artwork on Etsy.com. I am a member of the Interior Design Team on Etsy. This morning, I was delighted to discover one of my team members, Rachel of secrethistory highlighted me on an Etsy Treasury.

See me there - third row in the middle? I love seeing my artwork in the mix with so many other artists, photographers, and crafters… there’s just something inspiring about it.

Visit the treasury… there are some great artists. Etsy can become addicting if you aren’t careful.

Amira & I are headed Seattle-side today.

Oh, and remind me to tell you the bear story. I’ll fill you in on that tomorrow.

I’ll leave you with another painting in my stripes series (”earth stripes”).

I hope you have a great day!

Do you see me? 

Amira adores Peep and the Big Wide World. So much so, that we all have new names. She is Peep, I am Chirp and Paul is Quack. If you haven’t discovered this gem of a children’s show - check it out. Plus, Joan Cusack narrates! It doesn’t get any better than that!

(more…)

This morning, Amira discovered a shirt of Paul’s. Not just any shirt, but a shiny silver shirt with orange dragons on it…

Many are upset, but I can’t conjure up any resentment. There’s magic in a dusting of snow in the springtime.

Amira is changing so much right now. I’m a little dizzy trying to keep up with this new girl. There are the learning developments. Daily she develops complex sentence structures, increased coordination, off-the-charts-non-stop imagination play and her reading abilities… they continue to amaze me. These changes are amazing and fun to watch.

It’s the relational and behavioral that been so altered. Over the last week and a half, she has become a challenging every last boundary and rule, talking back, refusing to do what I ask and generally being an 100% hands-on-parenting type of child. I know this is part and parcel of three-year-olds (or at least this is what I’m told). It’s just I didn’t expect her to go to bed one night and wake up the next morning a completely different girl. It’s like meeting a new person who reminds you of someone you know and love but acts nothing like them. There’s a cognitive disconnect happening here.

Just to keep me from getting my sea legs… yesterday, she did the opposite. She went to bed a difficult and troubled child and woke up positively angelic… and stayed that way ALL DAY. Even her countenance was peaceful and sweet… ALL DAY. This morning, the day after “the angelic child day”, I’m finding myself putting my big toe in the water to see if it is chilly or warm.

Last night, I read an article in WonderTime magazine by a mother of three children. She writes about how she believes so much in children is simply who they are (the ol’ nature versus nurture argument) from day 1. She expressed how she hopes to be able to see her children for who they are and give them what they need to succeed happily in the world. I’m getting that feeling with Amira. I’m finding myself more and more thinking: “Who are you? It’s wonderful to meet you. How can I help you be the happiest, healthiest, most successful and satisfied you possible?”

This morning, I made a peanut butter banana protein shake that Amira & I shared. We sat on the couch together drinking our shakes from our straws. She leaned her head back and whispered: “Mama, thank you for the shake. It’s delicious.” She leaned her head forward and we lightly pressed our foreheads against each other. Her beautiful shining dark eyes trust me, I can see it. I’m learning to trust her to show me who she is, what she needs and how to be the best parent to her. And as always, I pray for wisdom.

It has been interesting for me to notice that in what will be some of the most challenging and possibly difficult days ahead, that I feel more rooted in myself than I have… possibly ever. I recently read a quote by poet George Herbert. He said: “Storms make oaks take deeper roots.” I’ve been looking for the poem that phrase was pulled from. I’m curious about the context, but haven’t found it. Even so, the sentence has gravitas on its own. I’m not out looking for a storm. It doesn’t matter if I was, because the dark heavy clouds have already gathered. The rain is pouring from the sky. There’s no getting out of it now.

While I feel encouraged that I feel more rooted… I’m not in this storm without some anxiety. Will I weather it? I have more belief that I will… but the memory of being blown away in the torrential gales of past storms tempts me to fear. As it stands, my hair is wet and my clothes are soaked. This storm isn’t predicted to clear for quite some time.

Here’s where I feel different from past storms. I’ve put my hope in this rootedness that I have. I am going to hold strong and grow. When the storm finally dissipates, and it will, I’ll look for sunshine and the promised deeper rooting. On that day, I can guarantee, that I’ll be sharing with you all the sunshine and flowers that I see too.