… tonight is November 30th.  I have completed my goal of participating and completing National Blog Posting Month!

Three cheers.  Whoop!  Whoop!  Whoop!

HOORAY! 

I’ve just been thinking back to my post about happiness and sense of self. While holding a warm cup of minty tea and chatting with my friend Jennifer, she sparked an inspiration. Jen told me about a friend of hers who put together a project for herself: 101 things in 1001 days. I googled it and turns out its a meme movement of sorts. 101 goals to be accomplished in 1001 days (2.75 years). I think this is brilliant. I want to do it.

AND

I want to do something shorter term too. Say, set some goals for every month. Maybe 2 each month? My idea was to have one goal be about accomplishing something that I’ve always wanted to do, or that is a goal of mine. The other goal, and this idea I really like, would be about accomplishing something for someone else. For example, I think it took him longer than a month, but one of my online friends, Steve - orchestrated a fund drive to raise the money to buy a computer for a little girl with Down’s Syndrome. We got to see pictures of that little girl in front of a massive stand of wrapped boxes with her name on it. Unbelievably cool to have been one of the small contributers to seeing that happen…

Now, my first goal! To get organized, make some lists and start creating goals and making them happen! (okay, I’m giving myself 3 days to accomplish this goal, if I don’t have something for you by end of day Monday - you have my permission to get on my case.)

Anyone else want to join in? The goals don’t have to be overwhelming. Everyone lives a busy life, I know. Small changes in a day make huge changes in our lives. That’s encouraging. I can’t help believe that playing this kind of game in the middle of everyday life could be incredibly rewarding. Don’t you think?

While painting tonight, a small bug landed on the canvas and was stuck. There was no hope for rescue, even if I had wanted to. And for a split second, I thought: “Should I paint over it?”

16″x20″
oil on canvasboard
http://janecemoment.etsy.com

We had a surprise visit for dinner from my cousin and his wife. It was so great to see them and just spend some time together. We don’t get nearly enough of that with them.

I made them chicken massaman curry. The recipe was a bit unorthodox and it was my first attempt. The dish turned out pretty well for a first try. I do have tweaks already in mind for the next time I cook it. Like more curry. And absolutely more cilantro! Mmm… fresh cilantro liberally sprinkled on top. Yep, yummy.

Amira loved having the company over for dinner and spent the first 20-30 minutes peppering them with questions, comments and vital (to her, and therefore to them) information about our house, her stuffed animals, and so on. They were wonderful with her and she loved having new people to share with. I did too.

Check out this spatial memory game called levelHead.  My head hurts a little just watching it… super cool though! (Developed by Julian Oliver.)

I was talking with my good friend about finding our personal senses of center… of ourselves… of having that personal innate connection to our strength, value, beauty, and being lovable. In our conversation, we talked about it and while we spoke to portions of it, I’m not sure we really nailed it for ourselves.

When I got home, I was talking to Paul and he asked what had changed for me… what it was that made me feel more that way recently. (I’m finding more connection to this than I ever have before.) I hadn’t thought about it until he asked. I realized what it has been. It has been a feeling of purpose and intention about and in my life and in what I’m doing and why I’m here.

“True happiness…is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” –Helen Keller

“The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others.” — Albert Schweitzer

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” — Albert Einstein

I’ll admit, that purpose and intention is sometimes a moving target. However, when I structure and create my life working to achieve for the betterment of the person next to me, of my community and my world — that has been when I felt the strong, beautiful, lovable, and valuable.  It’s when I have been the happiest.

(photo by the ever amazing Non Negotiable)

I’ve only 15 short minutes to write this post and make it before the midnight deadline. So far, I’ve made every day without fail and accomplished my NaBloPoMo goal. I can’t miss it now when I’ve come so far.

So, I have a question for you. Have you decorated for Christmas yet? Do you have any traditions around decorating your home with your family and kids that you might like to share? Paul & I have been thinking a lot about traditions that we want to create and have in the Moment family. I’d be interested in what traditions you have… or had in your family that you love.

In our family, we draw names to find out who we are buying a Christmas gift for that year. We also put a dollar cap on how much we can spend. We did this to eliminate the possibility that anyone in our family might feel like they couldn’t come to Christmas because they couldn’t afford to buy gifts for everyone. We created this tradition years ago to make certain that our Christmas get togethers were first and foremost about enjoying our time together. Thankfully, it has worked for us. We love being together.

Even though we’ve removed the quantity component of gift giving, there remains the quality of the gift giving. Here, I’m going to continue with my theme of shopping awake. But first a few statistics on what Americans spend per year:

• $131 billion on women’s clothing
• $94 billion on men’s apparel
• $33 billion on weight loss products and services (while 65% of us remain overweight)
• $13 billion on chocolate

Add up just these four categories and we’ve spent $271 billion a year. To feed every starving person in the world per year? $13 billion. If you and I had a personal budget of $271 billion a year (don’t we wish?), I bet we would think nothing of allocating $13 out of $271 billion to world hunger. I’m thinking we could eek by on the remaining $258 billion.

Now, I know I don’t have a budget anywhere near a billion, a million or even a hundred thousand a year. But corporately, as a country, those are our stats. Each of us and our spending habits play a smaller or larger part in these massive numbers.

A few additional facts:

• Children see 40,000 ads a year, that’s over 100 a day
• Over $15 billion a year is spent on advertising aimed at children
• The US has 5% of the world population, but consumes 30% of the world’s resources
• Average time spent shopping per week: 6 hours. Average time spent playing with children per week: 40 minutes.
• Mini storage units are big business. The average American family has 7,262 lbs of stuff.

These are, a shopping list if you will, of reasons to shop awake. So how do we begin to shop awake? The possibilities are as wide and far and creative as each and every one of us. A few suggestions:

1) Alternative Gift Catalogs. The idea in a nutshell - buy/give something in honor of the person you want to give a gift to. For example, at Agros.org… in your honor, I could buy a gift in your honor for $150 that will provide clean water for a village through means such as capping a spring or drilling a well. There are many alternative gift catalogs… find one that means something to you and Happy Gift Giving!

2) Buy Handmade. Have you seen the banners around the blogosphere?

BuyHandmade.org is encouraging everyone to buy handmade. Here’s why:

a) it directly supports an artist or crafter

b) I especially like this one so am cut and pasting it from their site: “The ascendancy of chain store culture and global manufacturing has left us dressing, furnishing, and decorating alike. We are encouraged to be consumers, not producers, of our own culture. Our ties to the local and human sources of our goods have been lost. Buying handmade helps us reconnect.”

c) buying from a small-scale, independent artist or crafter reduces mass-production methods that are hard on the environment.

A great place to find handmade gifts is Etsy.com. You’ve likely seen my Etsy banner with my paintings. The wealth of talent and incredible handmade gifts is amazing at Etsy. Take a browse, you are sure to find something you love!

Buy Local. The world has gotten smaller with the advent on online shopping. I’m one who loves online shopping. Being awake about my shopping habits though, I’ve realized that all the shipping and trucking required to get me that product I so easily purchased with a click of my mouse button - may not always be the best choice. Amazon.com is a huge temptation for me with their endless catalog of books that I’ve always wanted to read. When I buy used, I now look to buy my book from the best priced used booksellers that is closest to me. The less travel that my book has to make from there to me…. the less environmental impact. Plus, I’m supporting the local and regional economy around me and the small, independent bookseller. If you have the fortune of having a local used bookstore nearby - they just might have what you are looking for too.
Buy International. Wait a minute. Get your recommendations straight here, Janece. First you say buy local and now you are saying “Buy International?!?”

Yup, that’s what I’m saying. We are both a local and global community. Our primary relationship with the world, for most of us, is economic. This is a chance to choose how our dollars will impact the broader global community. Will it support unsafe, unfair, uninspired, mass produced products? Or will it contribute to individuals, build local communities and economies, and make a difference in the quality of life around the world?

A few years ago, I wanted to get something more than just a gift card to a bookstore for my Aunt Karen. While she’s a voracious reader and I know she would love more books - I wanted to buy something unique, something that would have meaning and bring more beauty into her day-to-day life.

I found ceramic birds similar to these by artist Lulli Luca, through Novica.com. Lulli lives in Peru and works full time as a professional artist. Novica’s mission is to provide a connection for and to artisans around the world.

I’m still happy about that purchase.

Recently, I found Ten Thousand Villages. I can’t recommend them highly enough. From their website: “To us, each village in the world represents a unique, distinctive people…offering extraordinary products born of their rich cultures and traditions.” If you are lucky, they may have a local store near you.

In a similar vein, look into buy Fair Trade (learn more about Fair Trade here). Simply search on “fair trade gifts” and you’ll find a treasure trove of gift ideas.

There are far more ideas than I’ve compiled here. In fact, not buying anything at all and giving gifts of time. The possibilities are limitless. In fact, I bet you know of several that I didn’t list here. Please leave a comment and share with us the ideas you know of or have done yourself.

Here’s to all of us waking up this year… ♥

Who, being loved, is poor?

–Oscar Wilde

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

- W. T. Purkiser

When we bought our Volvo last week, we bought it from a man who lives not too far from us. His name is Willie. Willie greeted us with a cigarette in one hand and a can of Bud in the other. In the garage, he had a Harley Davidson and a small fishing boat. In the driveway, he had a massive 4-by and a bounding sheepdog named Black Jack.

Willie was, unmistakably, the most lovely gentleman I’ve ever met. He was warm, kind, and honest. He helped us as much as he could as we looked at the car and then told us to take it out for a spin for the next hour or so. Once we decided to buy the car, we headed back to his place to complete the sale. He opened the door smiling and said, “Guess what, I’ve got good news. How ’bout I sell it to you for 200 less than I was originally asking?”

As we were signing the paperwork, he asked if we liked fish. We told him that we did and he said… “hey, I just got back from a fishing trip with a buddy in Alaska… check out my pictures.” He showed us a grouping of framed photos of the trip that were hanging prominently on his living room wall. Then he said conspiratorially, “Hang on!” — and disappeared. He came back, arms laden, with huge frozen fillets of halibut, silver and red salmon. He told us that they were caught, bagged and frozen the same day. He shared with us his favorite way to prepare them. He then bagged them up for us and as he did, he told us to contact him if there was any problem with the car at all. He was gracious through and through. I told Paul, he was one of those people that it felt like a treat to meet. We were spoiled by him.

A few days ago, I was standing in line at the grocery store. I was daydreaming about who knows what while a woman and her son were being checked out by the cashier. I suddenly realized her eyes were on me and she was facing me. I snapped to attention and met her gaze. She started in telling me about getting ready for Thanksgiving and how she had 2 turkeys at home to prepare, how much work it was going to be to prepare. In the middle of her storytelling, she suddenly says, “…so I get a free turkey with my order today and there’s no way my family won’t be sick of turkey if I make a third… so would you take it? Would it be something you could use?”

Willie and anonymous grocery shopping woman: two people I don’t know at all - showing extraordinary, unexpected kindnesses. Just one of many things to be grateful for this Thanksgiving season.

Walking through Alderwood Mall with Amira, this past weekend, I realized how much I’ve changed in recent years. Here’s how. Right after college, I worked for The Limited as a retail associate and then a store manager. 45-50 hours a week, my life was the mall. I earned my money at the mall and I spent most of it there too.

A year later, when Paul & I got married, I moved up to Seattle with him. Except for a few people that I worked with, I didn’t know anyone but him. To fill the lonely time while he was at band practice, I would drive to Northgate Mall and shop. I wouldn’t spend much, but I would buy a little something here and there for myself, Paul, and/or our tiny turn-of-the-century apartment. This was a ritual of mine for 4-5 years.

I remember, one evening, walking the length of the mall looking in the store windows and being surprised by the realization that I didn’t need anything. I mean, I could buy something new or upgraded to replace something that had gotten old… and there were various things that we could use, I suppose… but there was nothing we NEEDED. My shopping trips didn’t end after that, but my relationship to shopping was suddenly on my radar. I wasn’t shopping by rote anymore. I was awake.

Another factor that changed me and how I shop was gaining weight. Gaining weight played a significant role in my early stages of disconnect from the “Average American Mall.” As the pounds came on, the less and less I looked like the women in the advertisements and promotional window banners, and the less I identified with the chic, hip, beautiful and well-heeled demographic that is both built, encouraged and catered to in malls. I didn’t fit in anymore. And for a time, it caused some depression for me.

So now, you have a woman who realizes she doesn’t NEED anything, and she doesn’t feel like she fits in… what does the mall have to offer her? If there were a lot more women like me, the mall and mass market retail industry would be in for significantly narrower profit margins. But by design, the mall works hard to counteract this kind of situation. The work they do is smart. They manufacture and create “need” for us with their advertising and marketing. They make promises, such promises, that with our purchase we too will experience acceptance, beauty, love and that extra special quality of ‘with-it-ness’.

For the last few years, I’ve slipped in and out of being disconnected with the mall culture and an elicit, guilty and covert wish to find my way back to that elusive ideal seen in magazines, store windows, and worn so jauntily on that bald-headed, size 4 mannequin in Nordstrom’s Savvy department. (A quickie caveat: Don’t get me wrong here… while you wouldn’t know it to look at me, I love fashion. I love the art of clothing and style. That’s not what I’m talking about here.)

Somewhere between then and today, there was a nail in the coffin moment for me. The mall is dead to me. I saw its grave marker again on Saturday as Amira & I walked through the mall. I saw her studying one of the many designer clothing photo ads that we passed. My mind raced. What are these pictures telling her about life? What does it teach her about who she is and who she should be? It took me 25-30 long years to wake up. How do I teach her to be aware and awake within the culture we live in?

We are so lucky. There’s so much to be grateful for. Over lunch today, Paul & I talked about what extravagance it is to have a waitress walking around the room with a pitcher of cold, clean water. There are so many who do not have that. Here, we live and breathe in excess and we think that is normal. And, it is.

Okay, so what am I saying here? Let me pull my thoughts together.

The time for not being awake is over. The time for thinking and doing my part is now. I live in a country with more opportunity and resources that the rest of the world doesn’t have. I am gifted with the freedom to make choices. What a gift that is! There are so very many choices. This post is long enough without attempting to list them all. But, on the cusp of Black Friday, being awake about how we shop seems like a good place to start.

I saw this trailer for the first time before seeing Ratatouille. Our DVD, by the way, was stolen by someone who was viewing our house, can you believe it? Talk about petty theft….

Anyway, if you haven’t crossed paths with this trailer… do yourself a favor and check it out. (And a similar, but new trailer here…) It makes me tear up every time.

After 700 years of doing what he was built for, he’ll discover what he was meant for…

Pixar is just so damn good at storytelling.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen the new Pixar short, Lifted — do that now. So, very, funny!

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
- Annie Dillard

What I have to write about tonight is change. I want it. I say that with a tremble in my heart because change usually comes in ways that I don’t expect and often don’t want. Even so, I’m saying it. I want change. Now. I don’t want to wait.

The problem is there’s, what feels like, the trapped part. Through direct and passive choices, I am in a certain place. That place comes with responsibilities, ramifications, difficulties, and consequences. I want a short cutout of this place, without being irresponsible. Is that possible? Or do you always have to take the long hard road out?