My friends found a home today. Miraculously. Everything came together in the exact manner that it needed to - if it was to work out for them. And everything did. They called with the good news and I was shocked and excited. An hour later, I was crying. My fear and anxiety for them relieved, the barricade I’d placed on those emotions was suddenly loosed.

A job is still needed. After today though, I feel more hope that it will work out.

Why things happen one time and not another… I don’t know if I’ll ever understand. Probably not.

I don’t understand, but tonight, I thank God for providing.

Last Thursday I went to my initial consultation my naturopathic doctor, Dr. Vo. An hour and a half later, it was clear that I have a journey to begin. I’ve got overlapping symptoms… like a string of dominos set in motion. My laundry list (so far) that needs to be addressed.

• Sleep. I have been chronically under slept for 2 1/2 years… which has led to my becoming an adrenaline junkie of sorts. I sleep between 5 and 5 1/2 hours a night (enough for some, for not for me) and it has created an overstimulated central nervous system. Every night when I lay down, before I fall asleep, I feel my heart rushing so fast that I’ve imagined that it is going to fail me this time. Sometimes, my body feels like it is a nervous system vibration. And no, it’s not a relaxing vibration. I wish it were. The good news is that my symptoms, or in this case, lack of symptoms seem to point to the fact that my adrenals haven’t been impaired or damaged and are still healthy.
• Detox. The need to detox from my 10+ years of being on depo-provera. According to my doctor, for every year you are on depo-provera… you average an additional 10 lbs of weight gain. (I’m, unfortunately, spot on with that statistic.) Even though I went off of depo almost 4 years ago, I’m still dealing with the residual impact.
• Thyroid. I have all the classic symptoms of someone whose thyroid isn’t doing its job.
• Metabolism. My metabolism has been dealt a one-two and the final knock-out punch from the depo, thyroid and lack of sleep.

She provided me with some initial action items. One, divide up my daily meals into 5-6 mini-meals (200-250 calories each) to begin the work of helping restore my metabolism. Two, I was already taking melatonin to help my sleep. She recommended that I double, even triple, the dosage I was taking. Three, for now, drop weight training and do aerobic workouts (making sure to work up a good sweat using interval training) at least 3x a week.

April 13th I go back in to find out the lab results of the two tests I took:

• The first test is a Comprehensive Metabolic Profile. This blood test assesses blood sugar and electrolyte levels, kidney and liver functions, nutritional status, anemia and/or chronic inflammation or infection in blood, cholesterol, lipids, and cardiovascular risks, thyroid function, mineral status, etc…
• The second is Food Allergy Blood Test. Levels of antibodies (IgE and IgG) to 96 most common foods are measured in the blood to see if I am sensitive or allergic to any of the foods tested.

Once we have those results, we will begin a formal program to begin addressing and correcting the root causes of my symptoms.

Hi LJers!

I have several friends who are LJers and in an attempt to make life easier on them and make it easier to keep in touch… my WP posts are now cross-posting automatically to my LJ. You can comment on the posts there at LJ, if you are already there… or on my WordPress site, if that’s how you are getting to me. The only thing that won’t cross-post is comments.

Natalie’s most recent post is about crafts and particularly quilting. She talks about the quilts and the effort that she put into creating them and the joy of seeing them being used.

A long time family friend… well, I should just say she’s family because she has become that… anyway, she has a love for quilting. Amazing nurse by day (or night, depending on her shift rotation) and super-quilter by night. She surprised Paul & I Christmas before last with this amazing gift.

I wish I had pictures of the other quilts she has created. She opened my eyes to the fact that quilting is a very expressive creative medium. They can be art. The ability she has to create unique, one-of-a-kind quilts that seem to suit the lucky recipient just so is uncanny. And, like you Natalie, she wants these quilts to be used, softened with time, worn, and loved.

I’m not much of a crafter. I have, recently, developed an appreciation of the concept behind crafting. Unique, hand-crafted, pieces of art. Pieces of art that become the context and foundation for our life’s stories and legends. (See Natalie’s most recent post to see what I mean…)

Pinkness, originally uploaded by janece.

It’s been a dark day here. No sun and we’ve been under the gloom of dark and low clouds. I looked out our front window and there was this little flower generating its own light.

Good lesson for me, about generating my own light under the gloom of dark and low clouds in my life.

Eric Volz, is a friend of a friend… of a friend. I’ve tried to embed the video for you to watch, but my WordPress isn’t playing nice.

Click here to watch a short 6 minute video that shares the true story of American citizen, Eric Volz. Eric has been wrongfully imprisoned in Nicaragua for a murder he did not commit. For additional information, please visit http://www.friendsofericvolz.com or http://www.myspace.com/freeericvolz.

Act for Justice:

Contact your Senators and Congresspersons in order to inform and involve them in on-going efforts to secure Eric’s safety and freedom.

Here is how to locate your government representatives:

Senators
http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm
Click on the above link and locate your two State Senators

Congresspersons
http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW_by_State.shtml
Click on the above link and locate your Congressional Representatives

Call, or email their office and ask to speak with Chief of Staff. If s/he is not available, ask for the Legislative Assistant. Tell them you have a friend who is an American citizen who has been falsely accused in Nicaragua and you would like the Senator or Congressperson to be made aware of the situation.

For a Fact Statement of the case, please direct them to the web site: www.friendsofericvolz.com.

Inform them that the office of Senator Lamar Alexander of TN (Eric’s parents’ home state) has initiated contact between a number of Senators and Congresspersons and the U.S. State Department. If your Senator/Congressperson’s office would like contact from the persons coordinating this effort, please have them contact the people behind the Eric Volz via the web site and they will facilitate the exchange.

Dear Janece,

You are currently featured on the home page of DivineCaroline. We change these on a regular basis but for now your story is featured. We dynamically rotate stories on the home pages so if you don’t see yours, refresh your browser to see the rotating stories.

Thank you,

The DivineCaroline Team

Here’s the article being highlighted.

I just passed a phone call from a dear friend to Paul. She said she needed one of his “preacher prayers”. Listening to her share her circumstances, heartbreak and fear, I was wordless. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have anything. My heart breaks with her and her husband. I want to fix what they are going through. I want God to fix it. I’ve prayed non-stop for something… *anything*… to happen and bring them relief. In the middle of it, I think selfish personal thoughts like: “Why can’t I be the one that helps and comforts her? Why is that Paul’s counsel and prayer is what helps?” And then I feel angry and embarrassed at having, even for moment, mentally turned this situation around into something about me. It’s so NOT about me.

Before I passed her to Paul, I sat on the back of our couch looking out the window. She made the statement: “Can you imagine what it is like to have nothing to hang onto?” As the words fell out of her mouth, outside my window not two feet from me… a ruby-throated hummingbird flew into my my line of sight hovered with a quiet stillness. His red throat was brilliant. The color caught fire with the light and shimmered. The tiny bird was delicate and stunning. My eyes filled with tears. In 60-90 seconds of time, I was lost, heartbroken, surprised and consoled by beauty, found and lost again. I’m thankful that Paul can be there for her. Deeply grateful. And, I wish I could provide her comfort and healing right now.

While I cried and listened to her cry, I watched chickadees and towhees fly in and land on our porch railing. They were all watching me. I’m sure they were figuring out, with me so close, if it was safe to get their morning birdseed from the feeder.

“Look at the birds in the sky. They do not plant seeds. They do not gather grain. They do not put grain into a building to keep. Yet your Father in heaven feeds them! Are you not more important than the birds?”

– Jesus in Matthew chapter 6, verse 26 (read the complete passage)

I want to believe this for my friends. They aren’t going to starve or be without clothes, but they will likely be without a home and a job in less than two weeks. I don’t understand how God works. I don’t understand why good people don’t find help when they need it. I continue to pray because I choose to believe it matters to pray, even when I don’t see evidence that it does. Matter, that is. I don’t want to pray and then be angry because I believe that my prayer should be answered the way I think it should be. Right now though, I don’t understand.

Lord God, please help my friends because I cannot.

Tagged by the beautiful Tarie… (okay Tarie, this one was hard for me… I love books so much - it’s difficult to pare everything down to just one book!)

1. One book that changed your life:

Hmm, this is a toughie. If I had to look at which book, I’d have to say “Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC” by Frederick Buechner. (I see in recent editions - it’s been renamed to “Wishful Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC“) The book was required reading for a college literature course I was taking. In context with everything else in my life at that time - that book was key in fundamentally changing the course of my life and personal faith.

2. One book you have read more than once:

I’m tempted to list all of Amira’s books for you, since I read, re-read and re-read again those books. Of my books, I don’t do a lot of rereading (at least not cover to cover). One that I do pull out and reread is Annie Dillard’s Teaching a Stone to Talk: Expeditions and Encounters.
(more…)

Our internet connection was down 4-5 days and between my birthday and being out of the habit (how quickly that habits can disappear…) - I didn’t get self-portraits of myself taken for an entire week. But I’m back in action. You can keep up with me by clicking on the “Flickr Photos” link to the right… or go directly to the 365days set here.

I’m heading to bed. I’ve got an initial appointment with a naturopath tomorrow. I filled out the health questionnaire in preparation for the appointment and was surprised to see on written paper the medical thises and thats I have. My weight is my biggest health concern - but all the other bits and pieces add up to quite a lot of issues. I’ve wanted to get my health issues handled… if nothing else to be a great example and model for my beautiful baby girl. And for me too. The interesting thing is realizing how much I’ve been ignoring this and living with that… and for a long time now. After filling that questionnaire out, I’m excited to be going in.

Talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for being my friends, checking in on me, supporting me and being just generally awesome (You are, you know!).

If you watch my Flickr page, you’ve seen this picture. I got a beautiful bouquet of tulips and daffodils from my friend Jennifer for my birthday. They’ve been a gorgeous, bright shock of color in our home. Thanks Jen!!!

Sorry I’ve been away for a few days. Our internet connection was fouled up. Turns out our cable modem and cable lines were either almost or completely kaput. A tech came out and replaced the modem and did work on the lines… and woohoo!! We are back online!

12″x20″ oil on canvas

Although it’s close, the picture doesn’t quite capture this one. It’s a favorite of mine that I’ve done recently. I thought it was a gift of sorts to finish a painting that I was really happy with on my birthday. That doesn’t always happen - so it was nice!

Thanks so much for the happy birthday wishes!

UPDATE: I changed my mind - and this painting is for sale on eBay.