My friend Margie wrote about being gypped because she didn’t get to enjoy the extra hour given to us by daylight savings this past weekend. I can relate.

Paul’s parents came into town unexpectedly on Friday. We don’t have a spare room anymore - so we moved Amira and her bed into our room while they are here. The first night, she was really upset about being put to bed and being left there. She usually goes to bed so happily and easily. She didn’t fall asleep until 8:30pm (which is about an hour late for her). And… she woke up at 3:30am! She wouldn’t settle back in and wouldn’t sleep. I finally gave up trying and got up with her so Paul could sleep.

She stayed up all morning (I was stunned)… and went down for her nap at about 1pm. She took a 2 1/2 hour nap and then went to bed at 7:30pm. She went to sleep more quickly last night.

But.

She woke up at 3:30am again!

The unfortunate addition to my sleep deprivation is that Friday night Paul & I stayed up late watching a marathon of West Wing episodes. All together, I’ve had 10 hours sleep in the last 3 days. And today, I’m caring for a very tired little toddler as well.

All that to say… Margie, I hear ya! I’m feeling cheated too!

Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle?

Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name’s Crush.

Marlin: Crush, really? OK, Crush.

That’s pretty close to what I get too…

“Your last name, please…”

“Moment.”

“What?”

“Moment. M-O-M-E-N-T.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

I don’t mind really. I like my last name. There are many ways that our family name change has made life more interesting. For example, I’m writing this particular entry by hand (yeah, I know… pen & paper!) in a notebook my Aunt Karen gave me. On the cover, which is black, is embossed in gold:

“Now is the moment to live.”

You know that wasn’t an accident. (By the way, thanks Aunt Karen! I’m enjoying it.)

There’s the obvious. Paul gets “Man of the Moment”. Then there is “this magic moment”, “a moment in time”, “in this moment”, “for the moment”, “moment to moment”, “at the moment” and so on. I’m sure you could probably throw in a few. (Feel free…)

And you know what? I love our last name. I like that it is a converging of Paul & I’s individuality and our families. I like the symbolism. All we have is this moment. Right here. Right now. We are wise to live aware of and cherishing each moment. To quote my husband:

“When everything fades at the end of life, what will sparkle out of the dark is the necklace of memories of the individual moments that have defined our life – the face by the window, the giggle of a baby, the pride of seeing your loved one acknowledged for their talents and hard work, the timeless sensation when you experience pure intimacy, the disappointments, the sorrows, and the mellow golden moments of peace. The only thing that’s ever truly real for a human is this moment, now. They are our only true possessions, the only stones we have for our altars – these moments that crawl, slip and dance by us.”

Indeed.

So when someone gives me that incredulous look and says “Really?” upon hearing my name… I’m okay with it at that moment, this moment and every moment.

Chat excerpt from a conversation with a good friend tonight who also has a toddler:

janece says:

So, total geeky mother moment… but I have to tell you - Amira asked to go potty today and pooped this morning and then again this evening… completely of her own choosing.

janece says:

toilet training - here we come!!

S* says:

cool!! Getting close to potty training!!!

janece says:

I was so shocked! I haven’t been pushing her at all - we talk about it, but that’s it. That’s why I was so surprised.

S* says:

i’ve read that some kids are like that

janece says:

Anyway… I know this is just the very very beginning of the process and that it takes time… it was just exciting to see her take the initiative.

S* says:

that is really exciting!! hopefully it won’t take a year to complete the process!!

janece says:

Eeks - take that back! Let’s hope it won’t take a year!!!

janece says:

thanks for chatting about this. there’s not many people you can share your excitement about potty training with…

S* says:

well… you can, but they might not find it as interesting or worthy of talking about!

janece says:

they might back away from me slowly too.

janece says:

“No, no really! You don’t understand. She *POOPED*… TWICE! Hey… where are you going??”

S* says:

thankfully they don’t have a poop emoticon

janece says:

indeed.

janece says:

You *know* that would get overused and abused…

And one more… it’s fuzzy - but still good.

Amira was up before the dawn, which is getting easier due to the shortening of our days.  Sunrise wasn’t until 7:40am.  Amira was awake at 6am and I finally got her up at about 6:40am.  According to the weather forecast, today is the last day of sunshine until Sunday.  Rain all week is going to bum some Seattleites out.  I don’t mind it - but it’s good to know.  I’ll have to be certain to spend some quality outside time with Amira.  Sidewalk chalk, tree-hugging, rock collecting, leaf mining and collection, ball throwing, running and creek watching… here we come! 

There’s sun today. After the rain, everything is beautiful. I snapped these real quickly. I’ll see if I can get some better shots for you once Amira’s down for her nap.

“Most mothers don’t get enough sleep” says a Reuters article.  And… “But even when mothers do get into bed, many lie awake at night with 36 percent obsessing about the next day’s tasks, 25 percent stressing about the family’s finances and 24 percent worrying about family issues.”

Speaking of which, I need to get to bed…

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”

–Anne Lamott

It’s been hard to post recently.  My brain is filled iwth financial this, that and the others.  Yesterday was filled with phone calls to our creditors. Conversation after conversation trying to work out agreements and arrangements. It was hard talking with them while not being able to meet our obligations yet and trying to figure out what steps we can take from here.

I want to be sure to explain that we are not victims in this situation. It’s a confluence of past mistakes and current circumstances, the two coming together in a difficult way.  I have to trust and believe that things will work out.  It’s hard to not know the end result.

I’ll keep posting and work to get my brain working and thinking on more than just money, bills, and whatnot. 

Do you ever read Rose Is Rose? Have you met her alter ego, Vicki the Biker? I mention it because I’ve been thinking about my own alter egos.

There are a couple of ways this happens.  First, there is the me that I am and the me that I see in my own mind. Yeah, they are different. And second, there is me and all the other facets of me that are completely unexpressed.

Do you have an alter ego (or egos…)? If so, how do you feel about it? Is it a fun fantasy to think about? Does it fill you with longing for something that you’re not? Does it make you want to turn your life upside to realize it? Or is it not worth it compared to what you have and are right now?

I’ll share some of my alter egos next.

I’ve been teaching and communicating with Amira using sign language from the time she was a baby. She started communicating back with me around 9-10 months old. By a year, she was using well over 15 signed words.

She’s 2 years old and knows well over 100 words in sign. Originally, I had a video of basic signs and then taught her additional words by looking them up online and learning them. I found a website called Signing Time that creates sign language videos for children. (Signing Time has videos for babies specifically, and a set for kids 0-8 years old.) I got to chatting with one of my friends online about it and turns out she was already using them with her son. I was already interested and then with her recommendation as well - I sent away for the DVDs.

Amira & I love Signing Time! I can’t recommend highly enough teaching and communicating with sign language. I’ve noticed that signing has increased Amira’s vocabulary (signed and spoken) and her engagement with communication skills. She’s learning a second language and improving her manual dexterity and coordination. The other benefit that I’ve seen is a sense of self-confidence. She knows she can let me know what she’s feeling and wanting. The amount of frustration that could exist drops away. We just started our 2nd year together - but I’m convinced that the amount of tantrums and fits are going to be greatly reduced simply because Amira & I have such great communication available to us.

I’d love to find a place where families sign together and Amira & I could practice more sign at a conversational level. I’m going to be looking around for that. Anyway, if you have an interest at all - check out Signing Time and learn to sign with your kids. It’s awesome.

The last three days have been filled with Wallace & Gromit’s The Wrong Trousers.

Amira signs ‘penguin’ (which is the cutest thing in the world, by the way), the trumpets sound and we watch the nefarious workings of the criminal mastermind. She loves it.

It pleases me that she is already showing such good taste in media.