After my “great declaration of 2009 that I must write”, I haven’t done much of it, have I? At least, not here. I have been writing in my journal and that’s been good. I also decided last week to take part in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).  This might be a little insane, but it feels like the right and good kind of insane.  If all of you, my sweet and dear readers, haven’t abandoned hope of updates on this site… I hope you start checking back in.  Your thoughts and comments are always so wonderful and welcome.

Weekend before last, Paul, Amira, Mom, Dad & I went to Whidbey Island.  We stayed at Fort Casey Inn. I have a lot of pictures from that weekend to share with you.

These are from the rocky and driftwood filled beach at Fort Casey.

We had the most perfect weather (well, except for not enough wind for kite-flying, which caused Paul a little frustration).

The beach was our next to last stop of the weekend.

Paul & I couldn’t remember when we had a weekend like this.  It was spiritually awakening, renewing, and energizing.  The beauty was nearly more than I could hold.

Amira spoke of never going home.

The weekend was filled with beautiful, sweet, peaceful, happy, and joyful moments.  One lapping on top of the other.

This morning, as Paul was leaving for work, I told him how wonderful it was that our family name has only become more appropriate and meaningful.  With each day, we have become more immersed in today, in now, in this and every moment.  We are so glad we are the Moments.

I’m wondering how many times it will take. I’ve had this realization countless times. I’ve written about it here. I haven’t searched to find out just how many, but I’m sure it is an cheek-blushingly high number. Posting to Facebook doesn’t cut it. Composing lengthy emails to friends gets closer, but it’s not it either. I use these as placeholders. I feel their inadequacy, even when I don’t know it.

I crossed paths with a quote by a playwright/screenwriter recently that, often, reflects how I feel about writing: “I don’t like to write, but I love to have written.” Sometimes, while in the moment, I do enjoy it. Mostly though, the work of writing is stretching, awkward, and laborious. It is rewarding, but not in a instant-gratification-sugar-high kind of way.

“I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means.”
-Joan Didion

Writing is similar to photography - it requires a consciousness. It asks me to be aware of life (and not just my own). It invites me to see it, record it, review it and breathe it in again a second time. The brilliant and magical part of it to me? The second time around is no less new.

If you hear, ‘Look at you. You quit! You’ll never get this. Look how long you’ve been trying to be aware and you’re still a failure at it,” realize this is conditioned mind trying to control you - and recommit. If you play close attention, you are going to see how a process has been keeping you prisoner. You’re going to learn that when you’re present in the moment you don’t need to fear yourself, anyone or anything. A huge part of doing this work is getting to the point where it all falls apart.

We don’t need to get through the good times! We need to learn what to do when things don’t go well, when the voices get the better of us, when we feel like a failure and want to give up. What I hear over and over is that people start something they want to do, do whatever it is, feel great, stop (for reasons they rarely understand) and get the stuffin’ beat out of them by their conditioned voices for being a lose and a failure. It’s a cycle…

At a certain point we must without self-hatred, stand at the crossroads, hear the little voice that says “You can go in a new direction,” heed that voice and make a choice to end suffering.

Cheri Huber, Making a Change for Good

I need to write yet I rarely do.  Whether journaling my day or expounding on where my thoughts and heart travel, I fill my life with other tasks and priorities.

When I sat down to write this, I was about to go down a well-trodden lane in my life.  I wondered why I don’t just don’t write and was ready to reprimand myself both mentally and here on my blog.  Instead, before that could happen, this floated clearly into my mind and spoke not only out loud, but loud:  “You don’t want to let the cat out of the bag!“  Did I mention it was loud?

What cat is that? That cat would be me.

I’ve said various versions of this before.  But here it is.  I’m going to do it again. The cat. I’ve let her out. Again.  Because that’s what there is for me to do when a voice speaks out loud.

(published in today in DanaRoc.com’s Dana Delivered! ezine)

I knew I had a broken tooth that needed treating. I hadn’t scheduled a dental appointment because we didn’t have the money for the exams, x-rays, and treatment. Along with the other 50 million Americans who don’t have health or dental insurance and have fallen on tough times, I self-managed the best I knew how. I avoid sugary foods and drinks. I was diligent with flossing, brushing, and mouth rinses. But that morning, I knew I was in trouble when the small bump on my upper gum doubled in size overnight. That small innocuous bump that hadn’t hurt at all was suddenly very large and very painful.

Fear and pain pushed me into action. I called 20 dentists trying to find someone who would help me. I had almost no money to pay for treatment. After 19 phone calls and one in-office visit, I wasn’t able to find a single dentist that would help me without a pre-payment of $500-$1000. I didn’t have it.

I felt panicky. I couldn’t stop thinking about…

Click here to read the rest of the story at DanaRoc.com.

I’m geeking out on my book research.  The focus of my book is getting broader and wider (and more interesting!) right before my eyes.  As I’m researching, I’m seeing that my original idea is a good one, but there is much more to research and discuss.  The idea has become a blooming plant with the stems, leaves, and petals making up the beauty of flower.  (Not the best analogy, but hopefully you get what I’m saying.)

Side note: And I have to say, Zotero has got to be the coolest Firefox plug-in for writers, academics, and researchers.  It’s intuitive to use and has cleaned up, sped up and polished up my research process in the matter of days.

I’m putting together my rough outline for my book on shared and alternative housing.  I am pulling together case examples of various types living situations for my book.  I’m putting out a call for people who would like to participate and share with me their personal living experiences.  Specifically:

• Do you live with family or friends?
• Do you co-own a home and live in a home with more than just your immediate family?
• Have you lived in a group home?
• Other unique or unusual living situation?

I would love to start a conversation with you and hear your experience as well as ask some specific questions.    I will credit you… or list you anonymously if that works best for you.

If you haven’t but know someone who has - please forward this request to them.  The more quantity and diversity of people I hear from, the better.

Thanks!  You can contact me by leaving a comment or emailing me directly here.

Dear Janece,

You are currently featured on the home page of DivineCaroline. We change these on a regular basis but for now your story is featured. We dynamically rotate stories on the home pages so if you don’t see yours, refresh your browser to see the rotating stories.

Thank you,

The DivineCaroline Team

Here’s the article being highlighted.

I read Publisher’s Weekly’s review of Anne Lamott’s newest book, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith. They made the comment: “Lamott’s faithful fans would line up to buy her shopping lists…”  It set my mind daydreaming about what it would be like to be published.  I’ve written off and on, had a couple book ideas, and come close to sending manuscripts to agents, publishers but have, so far, always stopped short.

So, enough.

What should I work to publish first?  You tell me and I’ll do it.  Here are books I’ve, from time to time, threatened to write:

• multi-generational and creative living
• children’s book
• book of essays based on seasons/nature

Let me know.  I can’t wait to know which book will be my first published work.