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Maintaining Orbit

Last night, Paul and Amira pulled out of our driveway. Before they did, I helped make sure they had everything they needed and gave and received hugs and kisses. I stood in the beams of light from the car and, while in the spotlight, did little waves, dances, blew kisses, made hearts with my fingers and signed ‘I love you’ as they backed away from me. They were off. And I was alone. I had a nice evening with only one random, unwelcome thought that…

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I never told you about our 5K

Sunday before last, Amira and I were down to the last stretch of the 5K. The course had been split up into 2 laps. The first lap, Amira and I stretched out and ran a good chunk of it. I felt pretty good. I had been afraid of letting her down. Or worse, I was afraid I would embarrass her. But, here we were, on our first 2.5K lap and we weren’t being passed by everyone and we were even passing some. I was feeling…

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Because it is hard

I was given another opportunity to let go of my fear and grow recently. Being an artist confronts me in so many ways. It has stretched me. I’ve sold paintings off and on. And, without fail, I have the worst time getting myself to box them up and ship them. It’s been, unfortunately, a rarity that I’ve gotten them out in a timely manner. I have been ready and willing to chalk it up to being lazy. And granted, it really is a pain making…

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Looking Up

Today’s new perspective… looking up. Speaking of new perspectives… as of today, I’ve signed up for a new one. I’ve signed up because I’ve signed up for a new experience. I’m going to participate in a 5K with Amira in May. The entire journey, training and participating, will show me things I’ve never seen before. I hadn’t thought about experiences that way before. All new experiences are opportunities for a new way of seeing. That’s a cool thought. The thing I want to do in…

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Looking down assignment

The last time I went out with my camera, I gave myself a mini-assignment. All my pictures had to be taken with me looking down. I wanted to force myself to see differently. The last few times I was out with my camera, I found myself repeatedly saying: “I’ve already taken this picture.” I want to teach myself to see differently… and more. My eyes are trained to see beautiful flowers, lush landscapes, beautiful skyscapes and so on. I know there is so much more…

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Living into the answer… revisited

In recent days, I’ve been watching Amira’s eyes taking in images, interactions and the world around her. She’s processing, sifting, questioning and assessing. I know she’s creating hypotheses and conclusions. Occasionally there is the opportunity to talk with her about it, providing personal insights and larger contexts. Sometimes I get to hear what conclusions are, but often I don’t. It’s unnerving at times. In general though, I’m trusting the process and Amira. She’s a smart girl, with emotional sophistication for her age, and a loving…

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Monday 03/03 – Five Good Things

A week has gone by in a flash between last Monday’s Five Good Things and today. My Five Good Things are: 1) Going on walks with Amira… wherever that may be. Today’s photos are from a walk through our neighborhood this past week. 2) Four days of delicious rain and wind and the resulting greening of the trees and foliage.   3) That after over a year of, off and on, being sick with a mysterious malady… my Muta kitten has feeling 100% for 3…

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Monday 2/24 – Five Good Things

Natalie, the Chickenblogger, has a wonderful Monday ritual of posting ‘Five Good Things‘ each Monday. This is my second time joining in. Here are my five good things: A deepened understanding and sense of my purpose. For a man named Terry, who I never met. He, however, meant so much to and influenced one of my favorite people, Dana. Dana, in turn, has deeply influenced me. Terry’s impact and legacy lives on. And, for another man, a Canadian named Vic. I never got to meet…

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The gift of a whim.

Paul, Amira and I drove up the I-5, just before Christmas, to meet my family at the Oregon Coast. I was taking my turn at driving as we passed the Mt Shasta area. I have family history here and my senses always heighten. I described it, in a personal journal a while back, as a physical reaction. I feel a tingle, an electricity and I perk when we pass through the area. Mt Shasta, the mountain itself, feels like family to me. My cells seem…

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Tova sleeping

Wow, do I miss him.

Most of you know who this cozy, fluffy boy is. For those who don’t, this is Tova. He died this past September. About a year ago, I knew inside that my days with him were numbered. I would push the thought away because my heart would hurt and my eyes would blur. I knew I was going to miss him. I knew it was going to be an immense hole that he left before. It was more than I imagined. It’s been five months and…

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I know why I’m here.

As I was working on updating my blog, I came across a post that I wrote, almost 2 years ago, after moving from Portland to our home here. In it, I share a dream that I had: …the last 4-5 nights, my sleep has been riddled with dreams and restlessness. Those dreams are sure signs that I’m not giving myself the space to be with and process what I’ve been experiencing and feeling. It’s a natural part of big changes, I’m sure. Night before last,…

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I am a voice.

I had a revelation today. I discovered, at least in meta terms, why I’m here. It’s not to just have a voice, but to be one. I am here to love, speak, paint, sing, and live with my voice. This is my spiritual horizon and my creative work. There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block…

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